In this world's intense striving and need for perfection, physical scars are highly frowned upon. These blemishes mar the flawless bodies in which we crave to keep looking airbrushed at all times. They are viewed as showing the result of pain, an ugliness that cannot be removed nor forgotten. I however, see them differently.
To me, scars show that we have lived, that we have been hurt and that we have come through hard times, that we have made it through. They show that our skin has the possibility to be marred, showing us that we indeed are not in fact bulletproof. Oh, how sweet it the weight of bondage lifted when we stop striving to be perfect, and start seeing the scars which speak the beautiful news to us that we are not a Barbie doll, but that we are in fact alive!
These little things we deem "imperfections" are really like small dots on a map, marking where we've been, and the stops along the way from here to there. Want to get to know somebody better? Ask them to tell you about one of their scars. Each and every one has a story, no matter how small, and most connect straight to the heart. I could sit and try to tell you about myself, where I've come from and who I am, but if I told the stories behind my scars, I wouldn't need to dig much deeper to share a part of who I am with you. Scars are not skin deep, and neither are the purposes of the human heart. So here's me.
Take the simple, white inch on my right forearm for example. Simple story, but a story nonetheless. I worked at a frozen yogurt shop for a year, and they had the big wooden trash cans with the swinging little doors. I shoved some trash in, and the door swung back, scratched my arm, and left a scar. My coworkers laughed at me forever, because I tend to be klutzy at times. It makes people laugh, and it shows the roots of my identity, because I can laugh at myself freely, and not let who I am take a hit. So that tiny little scar, it shows a part of my work history and heart history.
There's a tiny mark on my right ankle. Its a scar from a razor cut. Not just any shaving mishap. A mishap caused by the unstable movement of ocean waves on a huge cruise ship. This tiny splotch holds a weeks worth of memories with my sister. Cherished memories of Caribbean islands, snorkeling, and sun tanning oil. Memories that I'll hold dear to me forever, because my sister means so much to me. She took me on this cruise, paid half my ticket, because she wanted me to go. Wanted to spend a week with ME. This scar doesn't only hold memories, it holds the fact that my sister cherishes me. She cares for me, and she would give as much as she could just to be with me, because she loves me. This scar speaks to my heart, tells me I'm important. I am cherished.
Then there's the tiny scar in my mouth-caused by the same sister. A scar that happened when I was a tiny little girl. She wanted to give me a piggy back ride, and I said "no! you'll drop me!" She insisted she'd be careful, that she wouldn't let me go. Again I refused, believing she'd let me hit the floor. Finally, she got me to concede. I got on her shoulders, and about two steps in, she dropped me. I think I passed out, and I woke up with blood in my mouth and a scar in my mouth today. What do you think that scar taught my heart at such a young age? "You can't trust anyone, not even your family. You'll be hurt no matter how much someone proclaims to love you." Now I don't blame my sister for that, no, not at all. Out of her love, she just wanted to play with me. Her dropping me had nothing to do with the enemy feeding lies to my young heart. And feed he did. That scar and lack of trust carried out the rest of my life, up until recently. And what about my sister? What was said to her young heart? Maybe it was "you're foolish, a horrible sister, you dropped your little sister, you can't ever be trusted." Lies! But heart scars, nonetheless.
Take the large white one cut into my stomach. That one hurt more. That wasn't done by accident, that was done to save my life. Wanna know that story? I'll tell you. I could have died. My appendix was inflamed, could have burst. My family waited what seemed like forever to take me to the hospital. I finally got there, and I needed surgery. I needed it as soon as possible, before it got worse or possibly burst. I was in third grade, and back then, they didn't have the same technology they have today. Today, appendix or gallbladder scars seem microscopic compared to the gash on my stomach. But this scar is special to me. It's SO much deeper than my stomach. This scar has memories of my family, my friends all around me. Stuffed animals (that I still have), flowers, presents, and cards from my entire class back at school. Memories of having to strengthen my inhaling again, and my mom holding my arm as began to try to walk again without stomach pain doubling me over. This scar speaks identity, because it speaks that I could have died, and yet God had another purpose. He wanted me here longer, had a purpose for me. It speaks of love and family, memories of my family together in unity for a single cause:me. It speaks once again that I am loved, important; cherished.
I have many scars running all over my body. Like the three inch gash I got on my calf from running through rusted barbed wire in the woods the other day. It may scar, and it may not. But the scar on my heart will always be the blessing of the joy and memory of when Papa God took me to the middle of a world of beauty, provided for me, and taught me. It will be a beautiful scar and tale of the time in my life when Papa placed me in Montana. And like all my scars, it will be special to me. I am blessed to have so many scars, because they each speak God's identity into my life. The first one, on my arm, it speaks that I am free to be me, klutz or not- I am free and loved no matter how many mistakes or mishaps I make. The mark on my ankle, it speaks that Jesus, too, cherishes me. That He would spend anything, so anything just to spend some time with me, to take me somewhere beautiful, because He simply loves me. The one in my mouth, it teaches that though trusting can be hard, its not impossible. After all, Jesus entrusted the funds to Judas, a known thief. He knew he would betray him. He trusted and loved him anyway. And the one on my stomach, it shows that I have a purpose, that I am made to do great things here, that I am not made to die under the threat of the enemy, but that I am made to be loved and surrounded by people that love me, and people I love. It shows that Papa has a plan for me.
Now, think about this. BECAUSE of SCARS we are SAVED. The greatest, most gruesome scars in history are the ones that run WAY deeper than flesh. The scars that Jesus took in his wrists, his feet, his side, his beaten back- they speak of the greatest love and grace ever shown to mankind. They speak of redemption and of our identity- that we were made to be FREE from the bondage of sin and death. That we are made to live in RELATIONSHIP with the living God of love! Without these scars, we would not have life at all. Without this sacrifice, we would be lost.
I encourage you, all of you, to take some time and think of the scars on your body. Think of the stories and the truths or lies of your identity that they may still be speaking into your life. Recognize the lies, and then, turn to the one with the deepest scars of all. The one who has the scars of love written all over his body. May His scars free and bless you for the scars in your own life. Rejoice in the ones that bring life, and rejoice in the ONE who brings life.
"Through His stripes we are healed"
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
πνοή ζωής •spiritus vitae •speak life
I trek through the shrubs and dirt, surrounded by Ponderosa pines and pine trees so plentiful that I cannot name them all. They cover the rolling hillsides like a blanket. Along the meadows and hillsides thrive various colors of wildflowers and dandelions the size of baseballs. They adorn the hills with beauty and splendor, a truly remarkable sight to see. I enter a large meadow and my breathing stops short as I am awestruck by what I see. The rolling hillside is covered in nothing but a carpet of these same wildflowers and dandelions. Deep shades of purples, oranges, and yellows mesh together in an abundance of vibrant color. Puffy pink clouds cross the big, cerulean Montana sky, and the quiet evening glow starts to settle in the distance, over the serene Montana and Canadian Rockies. I stand in the middle of this abundant beauty, taking in the smell of freedom all around me. And as I enjoy every particle of this grandeur, the romancer of the universe and of my heart whispers to me and says that even among all this, I am still more beautiful; I am a daughter of the King, a princess in the midst of her daddy's kingdom. "And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you" (Matthew 6:30)
This has been my life in Montana for the last two weeks; and abundance of wealth, where beauty is concerned, in the "Get Lost State" of the west. The pace of life here is steady and slow, yet the days seem to be over before they hardly begin. Mornings of singing birds and laughing squirrels melt quickly into deer wandering gently in the woods far below the cotton candy sunsets that last for hours. Ten o'clock finally comes around and all the creatures of the night come alive as the moon makes its grand entrance on its wide stretching stage. Things here are simple, yet aesthetics are nothing short of abundant; they shout the glory of a God who gives us more than we could ever want or need. They sing of His heart to lavish an abundance of goodness, grace, and freedom over all His creation, and that's only the beginning of where our story starts.
On the last Wednesday in June, I piled into a tiny (and ridiculously packed car) with my friends Ana, Savannah, and Andrew. Our trip was to take us to Oregon for a few days, and then onto Eureka, Montana as our final destination. I was so excited to start a new life in a new state with my new friends. I knew nothing of what the trip would entail, and certainly not that it would change my life so drastically. I was ready to learn, grow, and experience life. We finally made it to Dexter, Oregon (a tiny town outside of Eugene) and were immediately welcomed and added to the family that we met there. We were to stay with a family that Andrew and Savannah had met at a conference event a month or so before. I had heard great things about (we'll call him P) and his family, and I was excited to meet them all. Little did I know just how much we would all be blessed, and learn to bless.
Now I'd love to go into great detail about everything I learned and saw there- the healing of several people, the right-on words of knowledge and encouragement that people I've never met came up and told me about myself, and further yet, the things God began to tell me about other people that I've never met, in order that I might encourage them and tell them of His great love. I've learned and seen so much, and I have so many stories to tell, but as I try to fit them all into one blog, I find it is impossible and only delays my writing for lack of where to start. So I have decided that the in-depth stories of Oregon, and some from here, will have to wait for a blog just for them :)
So, that leaves us starting out here in Montana. Andrew, Savannah, Ana and I had many great adventures the first week here. Finally the week came to an end, and Andrew and Ana left for California again. It was just Savannah and I. It felt so empty, so quiet without the others who make us laugh so incredibly much. We didn't do much of anything, except try to settle in.
After a few weeks, Savannah and I realized we were not living the life that God has called us to live here. This town is known for its suicide rates, its spirit of depression. We were called to come be salt and light to the people of Montana, and here we were not doing much. We decided to start getting involved.
Because the town is so tiny, you can walk the length of stores and know every shop keepers name by the time you leave. As we were walking one Wednesday, we decided to go into this little antique shop that we had not been in before. The shopkeeper, an older lady started talking with us, and I was excited to find out she lived her life in Ireland (which I adore) and we became friends. She told us to call her "Granny Smith" and to come back and visit her. She was so delighted that someone took time to stop and talk to her for such a long time (which oftentimes includes Granny trying to set me up with her grandson, and have us tell her our adventures to put in the book she's writing. We've been in a couple other times, and we talk for quite a bit before we leave. She is a sweet lady, and we get to be the people to show her love.
That same evening we went to the Farmer's Market and thoroughly enjoyed talking to everyone there. It was great just to get to know people. We also went to youth group that evening, which was really great because we got to meet some of the youth there. The funny thing about youth is that they try so hard to make it look like they are so mature, but the thing is that really, they are looking up to you for an example. They are still children at heart, and what better time than to help mold their searching hearts with nothing but love and encouragement!
We have also been attending church services with Savannah's family. I wasn't really sure what to expect at first, but I soon realized that this is where I want to be. The people are incredible! There are so many people that I already love so much, and though I still struggle a great deal with trying to put all the right names with the right people, I know many by face, and I get excited to give them a hug whenever I see them at church or just out in public (which happens a lot in this tiny town!).
The church is having a Vacation Bible School for the children next week, and Savannah and I have volunteered to help out! We get to be crew leaders and work with groups of children! We also get to be in a skit for the children, which will be a blast. I get to hang out with children and teach them about Jesus ALL WEEK LONG! What could be a better way to spend your time? :D I can't wait!
There is a ladies group at the church that gets together every week to have tea and make crafts. We attended last week and it was such a blast! Meeting all the sweet ladies was such a blessing! Everyone is so kind, and I can't wait until next time! I also enjoyed playing with two adorable little girls there, and wish I had had more time playing with them than I had spent drinking tea :P The great thing about this, is the way we heard about the women's group. Papa God gave me a spot on word of knowledge about a lady in the church, and when I met her and gave her the word, we became friends and found out about the meetings. It is such a great testimony of how Papa uses His spirit in us to connect us all and build up relationships in the Family of God, while encouraging each other! Papa is so good, and smart might I add ;)
Overall, I am starting to get more and more involved into this tiny town, and I am loving every minute of it. I love these people here, and I already greatly love the children that I will get to meet next week for VBS! My time here isn't about going out and trying to convert people, because that's definitely not my heart. My time here is about building as many relationships as I can, and loving as many people as I can. Walking in the freedom and identities that Jesus has given us is enough to shine His love and light into the world. Our job as children of God is never, and never has been, to tell people to get their lives straightened up and bow down to God. But rather, our desire is to show the love of a great God who gives grace through broken lives, who takes them and makes them whole, whose love is enough to set anyone free.
I deeply encourage you all to continue to build relationships, because we were created to be the children and family of God. We were created to work TOGETHER, as one, living in relationship with the God of this miraculous universe. That's what were were created for: RELATIONSHIP. The cross symbolizes the relationship between God (vertical) and humankind (horizontal) bound together by the love and blood of Christ. I encourage you to speak life and encouragement into people, especially brothers and sisters in Christ. The word "breath" literally means "spirit." With our tongues the heart speaks, or our spirit is spoken into the room, changing the atmosphere. On our tongues is the power of life and death, because we speak with the spirit of the living God in us. Continue to speak life into people, because you are children of God, free and dearly beloved.
πνοή ζωής •spiritus vitae •speak life
Katie Grace
This has been my life in Montana for the last two weeks; and abundance of wealth, where beauty is concerned, in the "Get Lost State" of the west. The pace of life here is steady and slow, yet the days seem to be over before they hardly begin. Mornings of singing birds and laughing squirrels melt quickly into deer wandering gently in the woods far below the cotton candy sunsets that last for hours. Ten o'clock finally comes around and all the creatures of the night come alive as the moon makes its grand entrance on its wide stretching stage. Things here are simple, yet aesthetics are nothing short of abundant; they shout the glory of a God who gives us more than we could ever want or need. They sing of His heart to lavish an abundance of goodness, grace, and freedom over all His creation, and that's only the beginning of where our story starts.
On the last Wednesday in June, I piled into a tiny (and ridiculously packed car) with my friends Ana, Savannah, and Andrew. Our trip was to take us to Oregon for a few days, and then onto Eureka, Montana as our final destination. I was so excited to start a new life in a new state with my new friends. I knew nothing of what the trip would entail, and certainly not that it would change my life so drastically. I was ready to learn, grow, and experience life. We finally made it to Dexter, Oregon (a tiny town outside of Eugene) and were immediately welcomed and added to the family that we met there. We were to stay with a family that Andrew and Savannah had met at a conference event a month or so before. I had heard great things about (we'll call him P) and his family, and I was excited to meet them all. Little did I know just how much we would all be blessed, and learn to bless.
Now I'd love to go into great detail about everything I learned and saw there- the healing of several people, the right-on words of knowledge and encouragement that people I've never met came up and told me about myself, and further yet, the things God began to tell me about other people that I've never met, in order that I might encourage them and tell them of His great love. I've learned and seen so much, and I have so many stories to tell, but as I try to fit them all into one blog, I find it is impossible and only delays my writing for lack of where to start. So I have decided that the in-depth stories of Oregon, and some from here, will have to wait for a blog just for them :)
So, that leaves us starting out here in Montana. Andrew, Savannah, Ana and I had many great adventures the first week here. Finally the week came to an end, and Andrew and Ana left for California again. It was just Savannah and I. It felt so empty, so quiet without the others who make us laugh so incredibly much. We didn't do much of anything, except try to settle in.
After a few weeks, Savannah and I realized we were not living the life that God has called us to live here. This town is known for its suicide rates, its spirit of depression. We were called to come be salt and light to the people of Montana, and here we were not doing much. We decided to start getting involved.
Because the town is so tiny, you can walk the length of stores and know every shop keepers name by the time you leave. As we were walking one Wednesday, we decided to go into this little antique shop that we had not been in before. The shopkeeper, an older lady started talking with us, and I was excited to find out she lived her life in Ireland (which I adore) and we became friends. She told us to call her "Granny Smith" and to come back and visit her. She was so delighted that someone took time to stop and talk to her for such a long time (which oftentimes includes Granny trying to set me up with her grandson, and have us tell her our adventures to put in the book she's writing. We've been in a couple other times, and we talk for quite a bit before we leave. She is a sweet lady, and we get to be the people to show her love.
That same evening we went to the Farmer's Market and thoroughly enjoyed talking to everyone there. It was great just to get to know people. We also went to youth group that evening, which was really great because we got to meet some of the youth there. The funny thing about youth is that they try so hard to make it look like they are so mature, but the thing is that really, they are looking up to you for an example. They are still children at heart, and what better time than to help mold their searching hearts with nothing but love and encouragement!
We have also been attending church services with Savannah's family. I wasn't really sure what to expect at first, but I soon realized that this is where I want to be. The people are incredible! There are so many people that I already love so much, and though I still struggle a great deal with trying to put all the right names with the right people, I know many by face, and I get excited to give them a hug whenever I see them at church or just out in public (which happens a lot in this tiny town!).
The church is having a Vacation Bible School for the children next week, and Savannah and I have volunteered to help out! We get to be crew leaders and work with groups of children! We also get to be in a skit for the children, which will be a blast. I get to hang out with children and teach them about Jesus ALL WEEK LONG! What could be a better way to spend your time? :D I can't wait!
There is a ladies group at the church that gets together every week to have tea and make crafts. We attended last week and it was such a blast! Meeting all the sweet ladies was such a blessing! Everyone is so kind, and I can't wait until next time! I also enjoyed playing with two adorable little girls there, and wish I had had more time playing with them than I had spent drinking tea :P The great thing about this, is the way we heard about the women's group. Papa God gave me a spot on word of knowledge about a lady in the church, and when I met her and gave her the word, we became friends and found out about the meetings. It is such a great testimony of how Papa uses His spirit in us to connect us all and build up relationships in the Family of God, while encouraging each other! Papa is so good, and smart might I add ;)
Overall, I am starting to get more and more involved into this tiny town, and I am loving every minute of it. I love these people here, and I already greatly love the children that I will get to meet next week for VBS! My time here isn't about going out and trying to convert people, because that's definitely not my heart. My time here is about building as many relationships as I can, and loving as many people as I can. Walking in the freedom and identities that Jesus has given us is enough to shine His love and light into the world. Our job as children of God is never, and never has been, to tell people to get their lives straightened up and bow down to God. But rather, our desire is to show the love of a great God who gives grace through broken lives, who takes them and makes them whole, whose love is enough to set anyone free.
I deeply encourage you all to continue to build relationships, because we were created to be the children and family of God. We were created to work TOGETHER, as one, living in relationship with the God of this miraculous universe. That's what were were created for: RELATIONSHIP. The cross symbolizes the relationship between God (vertical) and humankind (horizontal) bound together by the love and blood of Christ. I encourage you to speak life and encouragement into people, especially brothers and sisters in Christ. The word "breath" literally means "spirit." With our tongues the heart speaks, or our spirit is spoken into the room, changing the atmosphere. On our tongues is the power of life and death, because we speak with the spirit of the living God in us. Continue to speak life into people, because you are children of God, free and dearly beloved.
πνοή ζωής •spiritus vitae •speak life
Katie Grace
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